i am hand typing this.
it's a song.

Hawthrone Heights-
Ohio Is For Lovers.




Hey there,
i know it's hard to feel,
like i don't care at all.

Where are you
and how you feel,
with these lights off
as these wheels keep rolling on and on
(and on and on and on)

Slow things down
or speed tehm up,
not enough
or way too much.
How are you when i'm gone.


And I can't make it on MY OWN!
(and i can't make it on my own)
because my heart is in Ohio!
So cut my wrists and black my eyes!
(CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EYES)
So i can fall asleep tonight,
or die
BECAUSE YOU KILL ME.

you know you do.
you kill me well
You like it too
and i can tell
you'll never stop until
my final breath is gone.

Spare me just
THREE LAST WORDS.
i love you is all she heard.
I'LL WAIT FOR YOU,
BUT I CAN'T WAIT FOREVER!

and i cant make it on my OWN!
(and i can't make it on my own)
becaues my heart is in Ohio!
so cut my wrists and black my eyes
(SO CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EYES)
so i can fall asleep tonight,
or die
BECAUSE YOU KILLED ME.

you know you do.
you kill me well
You like it too
and i can tell
you'll never stop until
my final breath is gone.

(YOU) know you do
(KILL)
you kill me well
you like it too
you'll (ME) never stop until
my final(WELL) breath is gone.

so cut (YOU) my wrists and black my eyes
(KILL)
my final breath is gone
so i can (ME) fall asleep tonight
(well)


and i cant make it on my OWN!
(and i can't make it on my own)
becaues my heart is in Ohio!
so cut my wrists and black my eyes
(SO CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EYES)
so i can fall asleep tonight,
or die
BECAUSE YOU KILLED ME.


you know you do.
you kill me well
You like it too
and i can tell
you'll never stop until
my final breath is gone.


(YOU) know you do
(KILL)
you kill me well
you like it too
you'll (ME) never stop until
my final(WELL) breath is gone.

(YOU) know you do
(KILL)
you kill me well
you like it too
you'll (ME) never stop until
my final(WELL) breath is gone.

i know.
i didn't blame you.
i was just to naive.
i hope that i'll forget you.
i'm trying hard. yet i can't

is there anyway to forget?.
i am too tired now.

i can't concentrate.
i dont wanna retain.
i dont wanna drop

i am so dead. for my dnt...

sigh this world's not meant for me. isn't it?.
alvinkang__`

sigh,

i felt as if i lost everything.
from money.
to friendship
to relationship
i feel so lost.



i am emo. when i am not suppose to be emo now. cos of my exams.

yet i cant control and hold it back.
i already said to let you go.
yet i can't

i realise that some people don't listen to me.
when i said i wanted to be something.
some people just snatched it and dont bother about me.
but i just let it go.

do i think it's so worth it?.
i can't let go of everything do i?.

i have to keep some memories.
this is getting to wild.
i have to stop.

i need to study.
or i'll suicide. cs of my results.

maybe i'll retain.
and be a stupid loser among all.
dosen't matter. i'm one nw.







tell my self. i'm not emo.

alvinkang__`

Today was boring. =/
nothing much to do in sch.
studied here and there.
after that went home. met shaun and jem. had fun
and went home. dinner till nw
doing geog hw. =/
blah~ (: going slp soon

i have made a new. special godsis~ (:
her name's juliana :D

its not just any godsis anyways. xD.
alvinkang__`

today morning woke up by rain.
heavy rain! was happy then :D
but then rain slowly slowly turned lighter. =/
anyways.!
i still went for tuition. blah.
then went to meet julinia at bedok to study.
apparently tried to for awhile.
did a little bit of geog noting.
then slacked. - . -''
wakakkas.
slacked around with julinia till 530 then went home.
bored to stone now ._.
nothing much.
tons of tuitions nowadays. argh.
bursting tired. D:
alvinkang__`

today was boring.
had tuition in morning.
came home. rotted till 7
went ikea had dinner.
bought stuff over at GIANT.
then came home.
gna eat unagi and scallops soon =/
then study chemistry.
and sleep x]
alvinkang__`

i'm just tired of all these/
lets end the story.
and start a new book.
known as friendship.

alvinkang__`

I WANT TO STOP YOUR TEARS.
BUT YOU DO NOT WISH TO GIVE ME A CHANCE.
do you get the rational?

alvinkang__`

thursday!
nothing much.
boring day.
got public caning. YEAH. that idiot who owe me 2 bucks got caned 3 times on his ass.
so rawk xD
anyways. stupid thing -_-

then went tuition.
blah nothing much.

you always said.
to leave you alone and die.
i'd rather die with you instead.
to prove all that i am to you.

alvinkang__`

another random song.


Amber Pacific:Gone So Young

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart you know that I'm with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting

Whenever you call, I will be there

Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright

I'm in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go

And take me away from all I know

And leave me to think I'm on my own

But your love will take me, you were the one...

...Who sat through nights

You held me tight

And made sure I'm okay

And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting

Whenever you call, I will be there

Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright

I'm in your heart tonight...

Tonight..

Wherever you go, I will be waiting

Whenever you call, I will be there

Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright

Wherever you go, I will be waiting

Whenever you call, I will be there

Whatever it takes,

I'll make your darkest days so bright

And if I should fall, I know you're waiting

And if I should call, I know you're there

If ever you cry just know

I'm in your heart tonight...

I'm in your heart tonight.

today. had nothing much again.
went to school. err. do nothing. today was boring.
but was quite happy (:
i did some maths work in class! almost all by myself! x]
went to tuition blah blah
then went home. did nothing now blogging.
hmmm.

random thoughts and song.


only if you were in me.
i wouldn't need to leave you.
ever again.
but now you're my thoughts.
and that you could just dissapear over time.
i felt that.
i am down to my last.

the song is here:
Alter Bridge: Down to my last
And to the ones in which we sing,
We are honored you let us in
I remember the thoughts of many things,
Of the glory that you bring

I was never the right one to dare to dream,
It's funny what this life has done to me now
You were always the only,
To help me see there was a road I must find,

A road that was mine
But I'm down to my last,
I'm standing here alone
Looking back, on it all
But I'm down to my last,
I'm ready but I'm wrong,
And I'm blind to it all

And to the world to which we sing,
Want to try to do us in
I remember your name and I know your face
Can't forgive and can't erase

I was never the right one
To bear the weight of something fueled by words
I'd learn to hate
You were always the only
To help me see that to love is to shine
In your world, blind

But I'm down to my last
I'm standing here alone
Looking back on it all
But I'm down to my last
I'm ready but I'm wrong
And I'm right to it all

[solo]
But I'm down to my last
Well I'm ready but I'm wrong
,And I'm scared of it all
But I'm down to my last
I'm ready but I'm wrong
And I'm blind to it all
But I'm down to my last
And I'm ready but I'm wrong
And I'm blind to it all

yawn.
today's boring nothing much.
had some fun.
had anger.
had blah nothing much.
tired. got tuition -.- thats all for today
same boring life routine =/

i do not blame you for all this.
is just my fault. really my fault.
i deserve to die . cos i have letted down a girl who loves me so much.

if i could find you now.
things would get better
we could leave this town.
and run forever.
and i know somewhere, somehow. we will be together.
lets your waves crush down on me and take me awayayee.

i hope this happens.


alvinkang__`

i cant stop thinking over you.
i'm having a heartache.
i want to love you.
like you were my only one.
and i was your only one.

i can't stop this.
please somebody save me. from this pain .
and torture.








alvinkang__` ak

i'll still be here waiting.
i hope there's still a glimpse of hope/
but please do tell me you're happier like this.
so i can let you go . with a peace of my heart.

that person will pay badly for what he had done.
to me and my friends.
and a crude remark that remained in my head.
just that remark is enough to be after your life.




alvinkang__`

it's not over

i am willing to let go.
but on a condition


you'll be happier.

alvinkang__`

there's no answer.
but i'm here to say.
i love you_
let me promise you. one final time.
please?. reply my message?.











even though i passed by today as a fun day.
my heart sank when there's no message.
no desicion.
no.. hope left?



it's that hard to make back that love?
isit that hard?
if it is. i hope. i hope.
time will soften it.
i am tired of myself already.

alvinkang__`

i'm still waiting.

i'll understand and respect your desicion.
just tell me what you want.

alvinkang__`

hey there.
i still will wait till the 15th
i'm determined.
i hope there'll be a reply. cos i realised that you're just more then words.
okays?.
i hope. i wish. i want.

YO!.
today was okay!
yayes i get to go OBS~ (:
someone can't make it so i will go ! xD
anyways today was retard =/
had fun at dnt.
had chaplin's lunch.
hmm. yeah. then after that we all went to maths class. did meaningful correction for my 0/15 paper TT''
i wanna study! cant seem to get it right.
isit because of 15th september i am not doing it all properly?!
lost my wallet. TT almost lost it again today (NEW WALLLEETT)
=/ anyways stayed back. did dnt. didnt have time to go tuition so went to macs.
and saw es and suria! - -''
tempted suria food lololol~
yeah. =/ fun ah. then climbed spiderweb! =/
had fun. and went home. yeah that's all.. xD.

it was a harder choice to type that dateline. =/
i also don't like.
but time's running fast away.
time is now today today.

alvinkang__`

damn. i lost my wallet. fuck.
just because of a stupid ez link card mother is making a whole load of noise pollution.
stupid lah.
i just want my wallet and cards back. who cares about the money. i just want what i own back.
just that simple. anyone who is brave enough to return. i dont mind about the money factor.
alvinkang__`

3 more days.
i

4 days more!
time is running fast away.
i'll be waiting.

note to you.
update?. =/

note to self.
if nothing's asked in 5 days time;
all will be forgotten.
if asked.
i'll be yours.

hoho/
first day nt being a prefect.
feels super great (:

yeah. went for tuition. and gna have tuition till thursday. then friday ncc. saturday birthday . sunday err. maybe tuition ? =/
i will go mad like mad ok! = =''
><
alvinkang__`

had tuition.
gna study hard. (:
alvinkang__`

today went swimming.
mega fun!
haha. bursting at pork.
me es aaron all bursting the pork. lol xD
anyways got new shoes.
yeah
blah blah


without you.
it had gone meaningless.
i sought replacements. yet failed.

Remember to feel real.

today was quite fun.
went ice skating.
fell a couple of times.
had loads of madness. yeah (:


&i'm willing to make you happy.
is just that whether will you give me a chance again or not.

wow same timing of latest blog update.
12.12am.

proper post nw!
just came back from genting.
stupid. wasnt that fun as i expected. kinda pissed when i came home.
cos of my mother making so much noise =.=

anyways.!
day 1!! sunday.__.
reached at 4pm. ate check in hotel and then err. forgotten.
but i know first day wasnt that interesting.

day 2!! monday__
err. woke up. ate something weird and started out to play!
played nothing much. i went to arcade after breakfast.
then went to eat lunch. and off boom.
i dunno where. OH OH. bowling!
=.= after that err. spend time go dinner then arcade. (YES AGAIN!@_@)

day 3!! tuesday__
err. gt karaokay session(dunno hw to spell - -)
after that. err. waste time. go watch movie after that!
yes its ratoutille. nice show. yeah. too bad you weren't there. haha. i knw you want to watch it. xD then pizza dinner. blah blah same thing arcade again LOL.

day 4!! today ( ? oh pass 12am le. )err. yesterday - . -
woke up late.
went home.
no arcade):

lol.
yeah thats all..








as if you are out of my head.
you left a deep scar inside my heart.

i hopes you will wait for me.
there's still a long long way to go.

WAY TO GO.
PREFECT'S DOWN.
STUDIES UP.
WORK HARD ALVINKANG!

DREAMS INFRONT.
PAST BEHIND.

THE SHADOW OF ME IS NOW GONE.
BAD FRIENDS OUT.
GOOD FRIENDS IN.

FORGET THE PAST.
FIGHT FOR MY FUTURE.

ONCE IN A PITIFUL HOLE
NOW DESPRATELY TRYING TO CLIMB OUT.
AND CLEAR THE MESS I ONCE HAD LEFT.

WORK HARD.
WORK SMART.
alvinkang__`